


Honey and Vanilla

by sassyquach



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Cute Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 05:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3598752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassyquach/pseuds/sassyquach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiro loved Tadashi, it was as simple as that.</p><p>Not the brotherly kind of love that you’d expect any younger sibling to harbour towards their big brother. No. Hiro was in love with Tadashi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honey and Vanilla

**Author's Note:**

> The only piece of work from tumblr I'll be reposting to this site, it's not fully beta'd so there /might/ be one or two errors?

Hiro loved Tadashi, it was as simple as that.

Not the brotherly kind of love that you’d expect any younger sibling to harbour towards their big brother. No. Hiro was in love with Tadashi.  
There was no longer any denying it, he’d spent months going over it in his head, over analysing every reaction he’d have when his big brother was involved like: the sudden increase in his heart rate when Tadashi gave him one of lazy, lopsided smiles or why his skin would tingle at the slightest brush and god damnit, why he liked it all so much?

He went over everything, hell, the poor kid even turned to the depths of the Internet at ungodly hours trying to find answers for all his ridiculous questions when deep down he already knew the answers for each and every one, he just didn’t want to accept them. How the hell can you accept the fact you’re whole heartedly in love with your own brother?! The thought alone is taboo, ludicrous even. But somehow he came to accept it, realise that his fate was sealed and he was completely and utterly fucked.

Growing up they never had anyone tell them what was wrong or right with their behaviour. No one ever telling them that maybe allowing your 13 year old brother sleep with your 20 year old brother wasn’t normal and maybe that cuddling on the sofa or just the amount of physical affection they give each other is weird. Their Aunt Cass always allowed them to behave in such a fashion growing up, after all they had both lost their parents, they were bound to need each other. Then as they grew older they were already inseparable and she was used to their bond; deeming it as their own kind of normal.

This had all led Hiro to rely on Tadashi a little too much, need Tadashi more than anyone else, barely even seeing him as his brother anymore and more as just his best friend. After all the younger Hamada never had any friends besides Tadashi. Didn’t need any other friends, as far as his 14 year old mind was concerned, always believing Tadashi would always be their for him so he had no need to expand out and make connections with others. The proposition itself seemed tiring and unnecessary. Though this had been how the line between the innocent love you have towards a sibling had blurred with that of pure love for that of, well, a lover?

He’d kept it well hidden, knowing full well that this kind of love was well out of the question. It was disgusting and plane wrong to even be having such thoughts about Tadashi; his own brother! Even if he were to act on them, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Tadashi would turn him down. He knows full well Tadashi would give him the moon on a silver string if Hiro just asked him for it, always spoiling his little brother far too much, but this is one thing he knows he won’t allow him. Even if he did, even if by some miracle Tadashi somehow did return such illicit feelings it’d only succeed in landing the elder behind bars if anyone were to find out.

So Hiro kept quiet.

And God, did he wish that was enough to quell his feelings but he wanted Tadashi so badly and not just in a sexual way, sure there was that but there was so much more. He wanted early morning Tadashi where he stumbles over himself, not having full control over his limbs just yet or the overly happy Tadashi that’d just throw himself at his friends; tugging them into a vice like hug. He even wanted Tadashi at his worst; 4am, hair a disheveled mess of fraying strands from constantly running his hands through them, eyes barely keeping themselves open as he claims he’s “fine, just a little sleepy” and that “another cup of coffee will do it” as he stays hunched over, pen in one hand and mug in the other as he goes over endless coding for his latest creation.

He wanted all of him, the only problem was he wasn’t allowed even a fraction of him. For months being satisfied with their usual relationship, until it became too much. Instead pushing the elder away, finding any excuse to get out of ‘movie night’ or not be alone with him. More often than not finding himself in dark back alleys, bot in hand and cash in pocket. 

The heavy scent of stale alcohol, and what he can only assume to be something illegal being smoked, filled the air and in it’s own weird way it brought the small boy comfort. For a few hours he could forget about the rich smell of honey and vanilla, gentle brown eyes and lopsided smile. For a few hours he could just be free, but the freedom is always short lived when bright lights appear followed by a familiar voice laced with anger.

"Hiro, get on now." Is the short, bitten off demand that holds no room for argument let alone his usual sarcastic comments, the only response to the few words is to follow them. Practically plastering himself to the elders back as the smell of honey and vanilla takes over his senses, his surroundings fading to black and suddenly it doesn’t matter that they’re hurtling down the busy lit up streets of San Fransokyo, usually his favourite part of his brothers knight in shining armour routine because all that matters in this moment is the proximity he’s able to indulge himself in.

Tadashi was angry. Actually, he was beyond angry. Tadashi was pissed off and he let it known with the cold look in his eye and disconnected tone in his voice as he tells Hiro to go upstairs. Wordlessly he complies, too scared to do otherwise and there’s something new. Hiro was no stranger to fear, he felt it every time he navigated his way through dimly lit streets or when his spine was forced into some gritty brick wall by another nameless face. The pinprick chill that slowly etches it’s way into his bones accompanied by a sickening weight in his chest was normal, just not when directed towards his usually calm and collected brother.

Yeah, this was true fear he thought as he seats himself at the foot of his bed, unable to even look up the other when he hears him enter the room; making mental note that he’s not pacing like he usually does. He’s really done it this time. Hiro half expects to get yelled at, called an idiot, stupid that he’s “wasting so much potential on some stupid phase”. Half of him wants Tadashi to say all this. Anything would be better than the deafening silence that takes grip on the room.

"Why?" It’s a simple enough question with anything but a simple answer. Why did he do the things he did? He has a million and one ways to answer it but he’s certain non of them are things the elder wants to hear.

"I go bot fighting to get your attention. It’s the only time you ever seem to notice me anymore." Is what he wants to say, he wants to yell it at the elder so much it physically pains him to keep it in, a deep knot tightening in his stomach.

Since the start of a new year at his nerd school they never hang out, the elder always too tired to participate in their movie nights, instead ruffling the younger’s hair with a quick apology and a promise of “another night, buddy”. Even sleeping in the same bed was rare as on more nights than not Tadashi wouldn’t even return till the crack of dawn just to be leaving a few hours later. It was becoming increasingly rare for them to even hang out as brothers and it was slowly killing Hiro. The one person he needs more than anything suddenly becoming something so absent. Even if he couldn’t be with Tadashi in the ways he desperately desires to he at leasts wants to keep it the way it’s always been.

But he keeps it in, instead replying with a shaky shrug of his shoulders and a mumbled “I dunno”.

Tadashi sighs heavily, prompting Hiro’s eyes to flicker up in time to see Tadashi drag a heavy hand down his face, all traces of anger gone and now he just looks tired and not his usual tired look that could be washed away with a warm cloth and a few hours rest. No, this was the kind of tired that looks bone deep; something caused by more than a few sleepless nights hunched over a work bench.

"Don’t give me that. Look, Hiro…I just…" He releases a shuddering breath. "I’m trying my best here. Whatever phase this is, it needs to stop. Bot fighting is dangerous, you’re gonna get yourself hurt.”  
And Hiro’s not sure if its something in the tone of his voice, the look in his worry filled eyes or just the words themselves but something about it just rubs him the wrong way. 

“I know! You don’t have to keep telling me, I get it already I’m not an idiot so quit treating me like one and quit acting like you give a damn!” 

At his outburst a sudden tinge of hurt washes over Tadashis features, brows furrowing causing a deep line between them. 

“Acting? You think…for fucks sake Hiro.” Everything about the curse word sounds wrong coming from the others tongue, the word foreign and unfamiliar and never has Hiro regretted anything he’s said so fast already guilt twisting his gut causing him to feel like he’ll be sick any moment as unshed tears collect in his eyes, blurring his vision.

"Hiro." His name practically a sigh on the others lips as he kneels before the other so they’re easily at the same level. "Geez, you can’t seriously think I don’t care? You don’t seem to realise how dangerous all this bot fighting junk is, the thought of something happening to you terrifies me, buddy. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too."

And that’s all it took to cause him to crumble, one three letter word added the end of his heartfelt statement and he’s clinging to his brothers shirt with trembling fingers, crying out as he’s hit with an overpowering scent of sweetness that just fits Tadashi that little too well. He just had to say that. He just had to subtlety remind him of what Hiro was too young to be affected by. Choking out. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t deserve y-you…I’m sorry I’m-“

"Hey, come on stop this. What’s gotten in to you lately? This isn’t my little genius, what’ve you done with him?" Tadashi tries to joke, always the one to try and lighten the mood as if anything other than positivity wasn’t in his nature. A large thumb instinctively dragging itself under a teary brown eye, with a gentle smile in place. "You gonna tell me what this is all about? I mean if it’s your rebellious phase I hear most kids usually go for hair dye?"

He wants to laugh. Dear God, he really wants to laugh but he just can’t seem to find it within himself. Not when Tadashi’s so close, not when he can make out each individual eyelash along his eyes and see the faded splash of freckles along his nose and he’s a disgusting little brother isn’t he? The way his heart clenches and his breathing falters, more tears spilling from his eyes. 

"I love you!" He chokes out, unable to keep it in any longer and with the three words already leaving his tongue he can’t stop. "It’s wrong but I can’t stop, I love you so much it hurts, Tadashi! I-I can’t…I’m so sorry! I love you, but you don’t even seem to notice I-"

Out of all the reactions, out of each possible scenario Hiro had played out through his head since the day he’d come to terms with his feelings the last thing he expected was warm arms wrapping around his waist pulling him down into the elders lap and soft words he can’t make out for a few moments until he realises it’s Tadashi whispering “I love you” over and over again as if it were the last thing he’d get to say, like this blissful moment would just fade away if he stopped or let go of the other.

"Hiro, I love you so much." He smiles, one corner of mouth reaching higher than the other. Warm hands cupping Hiro’s cheeks, a smile breaking across his own face, his heart swelling with love at the look in the others eyes.

"I love you too, Tadashi…" He breathes out, neither of them knowing who leant in first and neither of truly caring when soft lips press together in a chaste kiss. The innocent action exchanging all the love they felt, erasing all doubt from the younger’s mind as all his senses were overcome with honey and vanilla.


End file.
